WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is a deep emotional connection rooted in care, trust, respect, and genuine understanding between people. It grows through shared experiences, patience, and the continuous choice to support, accept, and stand by one another through both joyful and challenging moments.

FOUR TYPES OF LOVE

Companion

Love based on friendship, trust, and deep affection, with less passion but strong commitment. Common in long marriages and close friendships.

Romantic

It is a love with passion, attraction, and emotional connection. Often seen in dating or early relationships.

Infatuation

An intense but short-lived attraction. Strong feelings, but not yet deep or stable.

Consummate

The complete form of love is a balance of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Often seen in long-term, healthy relationships or marriage.

TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

Developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg in the 1980s, the triangular theory of love posits that love is composed of three interconnected components: intimacy, passion, and commitment forming the vertices of a triangle.

THE COMPONENTS

Intimacy

Feelings of closeness, warmth, bondedness, and emotional connection

Sexual Attraction
Romance and Excitement
Strong Emotional Arousal
Feeling “Drawn” to Someone
Infatuation or Longing

How it Works in Relationships:

Intimacy develops gradually over time.
It grows through conversations, shared experiences, and vulnerability.
Unlike passion, intimacy tends to be stable and long-lasting.

Example:
Close friendships or long-term partners who deeply understand each other have strong intimacy, even if excitement is low.

Passion

The drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation

Emotional Bonding
Trust and Honesty
Open Communication
Feeling Supported and Cared for
Sharing Personal Thoughts and Feelings

How it Works in Relationships:

Passion usually appears early in relationships.
It’s driven by brain chemicals like dopamine (pleasure and reward).
It tends to be intense but unstable — it can grow quickly and fade if not supported by other components.

Example:
Crushes, “love at first sight,” or relationships that feel exciting but shallow are high in passion.

Commitment

The decision to love someone in the short term and maintain that love in the long term.

Choosing to Remain Together
Loyalty and Responsibility
Planning a Future Together
Willingness to Work through Problems
Stability and Consistency

How it Works in Relationships:

Commitment can exist even when emotions fluctuate.
It’s influenced by values, culture, and personal beliefs.
It often strengthens after intimacy and trust are built.

Example:
Married couples or long-term partners who stay together despite challenges show strong commitment.

How the Components Work Together

These components don’t always grow at the same speed:

Passion may Come Fast and Fade.
Intimacy Grows Slowly but Deeply.
Commitment Often Comes Later and Requires Conscious Choice.

A healthy, lasting relationship usually needs all three, even if their levels change over time.

Love for youth can be understood as a developing and learning experience, not something fixed or final.

For youth, love is a mix of emotions, connection, and choices that are still growing. It often starts with strong feelings or attraction (passion), then slowly builds into emotional closeness (intimacy) as they get to know someone better. Commitment, for many young people, is still forming because they are learning about themselves, relationships, and what they value.

Love at this stage is usually:

Exploratory – discovering what love feels like and what kind of relationships feel healthy
Emotional – feelings can be intense and change quickly
Educational – experiences help youth learn about trust, respect, communication, and boundaries

Overall, love for youth is part of personal growth. It helps them understand their emotions and relationships, even if it doesn’t always fit perfectly into specific types of love yet.

Important note: this theory does not include all types of love, especially since love can be experienced differently by each person. For youth, feelings and relationships are still developing, and emotions may change as they grow and gain more experience. Some relationships may not fit exactly into these categories or may shift over time. Therefore, this theory is meant to guide young people in understanding love, not to define or limit their experiences.

References:

Cleveland Clinic. (2025, November 21). How many types of love are there? https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-love-stages-and-languages

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